A gentler way to think about meditation in midlife.

If I had a pound for every time I’d heard that… 👑

Somewhere along the way, meditation seems to have become another thing we think we need to be good at. Sit perfectly still. Empty your mind. Stop thinking. Feel completely serene.

And if your brain is busy remembering the washing, tomorrow’s appointments and the thing you forgot to reply to three days ago, you assume you’re doing it wrong.

You’re not.

Meditation isn’t about having no thoughts. It’s about noticing when your mind has wandered and gently bringing your attention back — perhaps to your breath, a sound, a sensation in your body, or simply the feeling of being supported by the chair beneath you.

You don’t have to sit cross-legged

You can meditate sitting in a chair, lying on the floor, tucked under a blanket or even while walking.

You don’t need candles, crystals, special music or half an hour of uninterrupted silence.

And you certainly don’t need to look like the serene woman in the picture! 😂

Sometimes meditation is simply giving yourself two minutes where nobody needs anything from you.

Why can it feel so difficult?

Many of us spend our days doing, organising, remembering, caring and thinking ahead.

So when we suddenly stop, our mind doesn’t necessarily say, “Wonderful, time to be peaceful.”

It may do the exact opposite.

Did I send that message?
What shall we have for dinner?
I must remember to book that appointment…
Why am I thinking about something embarrassing I said in 1997? 😂

That doesn’t mean meditation isn’t working.

Each time you notice your mind has wandered and gently return your attention, that is the practice.

Try this for just two minutes

Sit somewhere comfortable.

Let your feet rest on the floor and allow your shoulders to soften.

Notice your breathing without trying to change it.

Feel the support of the chair beneath you.

When a thought arrives — because it probably will — notice it and gently return your attention to your breath.

No judgement. No trying to get it perfect.

Just two minutes of being here.

Meditation can look different for everyone

Some women enjoy traditional meditation. Others find it much easier to settle with gentle movement, guided relaxation, breathwork or sound.

This is one of the reasons I love incorporating moments of stillness and relaxation into my work at The Calm Queen. You don’t have to force yourself to switch off. Sometimes you simply need the right conditions to help yourself slow down enough to reconnect with you.

So if you’ve ever said:

“I’m rubbish at meditation.”

Perhaps you’re not.

Perhaps nobody ever told you that you were allowed to do it your way. 🌿

You can arrive exactly as you are. I’ll meet you there.